“Attuned to disappointment and confused about its source, we wind up discarding perfectly good relationships. People work themselves up over the ordinary problems of marriage, for which by the way, they fail to see their own contributions”

William Doherty, professor University of Minnesota

When couples come in for counseling about a failing marriage or divorce, one of my first questions is: “What part did you play in the breakdown of this relationship? I ask this for a few reasons. Usually people love to blame a partner for all the glaring deficits they have experienced in the relationship. They rarely have assessed their own short-comings. Another reason I ask this question is that you can’t change what you do not acknowledge. Mistakes happen- no one is perfect. But it is how you handle your own failings that matters. Are you willing to own these faults and are you willing to work toward change? I am a great believer in hope and change……that is why I love therapy!

-Larcy