Recently, I saw the movie The Last Station. It is the story of Leo Tolstoy’s last days and the relationship he has with Countess Sofya, his wife and muse of almost 50 years. It is a beautiful movie- one that will stay with you long after you leave the theater. There is a line spoken to Tolstoy by his wife: “You are the work of my life as I am yours”. I found this line very impacting. As a therapist working with couples in relationship, I often encounter the expectation that relationships should “flow” or be “effortless”. The romantic view is that compatibility is the most important aspect of a loving relationship. While I agree that relational harmony is easier to live with, I think relationships call us to something greater than peaceful co-existence. I think relationships expose our blind spots, our selfishness, and our limited perspectives. I think that love is work. Although it is hard work, true love is of great value for both you and your partner.

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope.”  Maya Angelou

-Larcy